People have called me an over-achiever.
But I don't know what that's about.
The audition Wednesday actually went really well... and by that, I mean I think I kicked butt. Problem is, there really wasn't any butt to kick. In the end, I was left with a "You're really talented, but I think I've filled everything, and we try to hire locally so we don't have to pay mileage. BUT, I really would like to have you, so I'm going to try to find something for you." So, I'm not sure if I should be at all reassured by any of that. It's like a yes and a no all wrapped into one. I'll expect to hear from them when I hear from them, but not until then.
Dorabella's been on hold this week. However, while in Tulsa, we went to see The Gondoliers, and I think there were several Dorabella-like characters in it-- and by that I mean they were young and ditsy. Of course, there was also a guy who looked and acted EXACTLY like Nick Gilmore, only shorter (and didn't sing as well). I almost felt like I was watching Forum again. Anyway, I watched all of the young ditsy girls very carefully. What I noticed most was their facial expression and commitment to everything they did. (I might also have learned some about gushing... and Dorabella certainly does plenty of gushing). I think I often don't commit to what I do on stage, because I'm not sure if it's right, because it doesn't feel natural to me. I also dreadfully underestimate my facial expressions and actions. I'm not really sure how to remedy this, other than just experiment with it and do lots of mirror time. I probably really need to screw it up and get feedback, but I SO hate not doing things right the first time. I'm supposed to be working with an actress in Springfield in the next few weeks, so I'm hoping she'll be able to help me out with all of this.
I'm not doing much journaling about the vocal part of this, but I'm not really sure what to write. It's lots of "brighter.... BRIGHTER!"s and "More teeth"s (which has actually been very helpful... never thought about teeth before). I still have a lot to learn about the specifics. For example, there are lots of little ornamentation things that I see written or hear other people do, but I'm not sure what's appropriate, and what would make Mozart kill a kitten (and I like kittens). In general though, most of the voice work has been done in the last 3 years. I've developed lots of good habits (I like to think, anyway), so it's more about polish this time. Which is terribly frustrating, let me tell you. I think it was almost less frustrating when I was working out the really big issues, because now I often can't tell the difference between what I'm doing and what he wants me to do. Usually it comes with time, but in the meantime, I feel like I should switch majors or something. On a positive note, I think my voice has grown quite a bit over the past few weeks. There have been quite a few "paint-peeling" moments, as I like to call them. Of course, that's not hard to do in an 8x8 cell, aka a practice room... but, I've also noticed it in other places, so I think it's real.
Though I'm going to have high-speed internet and cable, and a big fancy Y to work out in for the next few days, I plan to spend lots of time practicing and doing research. Right now, however, I think I need some ice cream and a rerun of House, because what could be better than that?
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Because it would look so dang good, that's why!
I'm taking a little time out from Cosi this week to work on some music I've already performed. I've managed to set up an audition for the Tulsa Opera chorus, so it's time I pulled out a couple of things to sing.
Now, why would I put myself through this, you ask? Because it would look so dang good on my resume. And because I'm a glutton for punishment. And because I REALLY want to wear a costume! (Since the only costume I've sung in while in college has been PJs and a mint julep face mask). And because if I'm really honest, it's a step closer to what I dream of doing, so how could I not? See, lots of good reasons.
Mind you, this is no guaranteed spot, even if he likes me. All of the chorus positions are full, I'm told, but I've also been assured that people drop out all the time, and that I'd probably be needed at some point during the season. I'm guessing the fact that I'm a mezzo really helps, since he was very insistent about wanting to hear me sing, even though it's already full. That's all well and good, except I fear if it doesn't get on my calendar in the next few weeks, there won't be any way to make it work. And on top of that, it all hinges on me not sucking it up Wednesday. I feel fairly confident though... I think...
The weather man just said something about not having variety in our weather... What's he smoking!?!
Anyway, as I've been resurrecting music for said audition, I've found that it all fits in my voice a little differently, especially the older stuff. Of the two I've selected, one if from a couple years ago, and it just feels enormous now. I can remember really having to work on the high notes (Gs), and now it just comes out... and about peels the paint off the walls... that's a good feeling. The second piece I just did last year, so it's not so much of a change, but there is still some. Once I got through the first, really "pitchy" (to steal a word from Simon) sing-thru, it worked fairly well.
The only really rough part of them is that lovely transition to my "man-voice," as my voice teacher has so technically named it (I like to call it chest voice, but I'm not sure it's not below chest voice... my breaks are very odd (Well, who are we kidding, I can't FIND my breaks, except for that one)). When that comes around, I still sound like a boy just hitting puberty... and trust me, I'm not a boy, and I'm way past puberty... so it's weird, and annoying. Afore mentioned voice teacher tells me that this is all due to lift, but I can lift that palet til it erupts through my skull and it still cracks... (This is all also relevant to Dorabella, since she occasionally uses man-voice too).
Anyway, I'll get back to Dorabella on Thursday, and technically also Tuesday night, since I'm working on the finale with Loria. I'm taking some girlfriends to Tulsa with me and we're going to make an evening of it. I want to see the Gondoliers, but we'll see if they'll agree.
Now, why would I put myself through this, you ask? Because it would look so dang good on my resume. And because I'm a glutton for punishment. And because I REALLY want to wear a costume! (Since the only costume I've sung in while in college has been PJs and a mint julep face mask). And because if I'm really honest, it's a step closer to what I dream of doing, so how could I not? See, lots of good reasons.
Mind you, this is no guaranteed spot, even if he likes me. All of the chorus positions are full, I'm told, but I've also been assured that people drop out all the time, and that I'd probably be needed at some point during the season. I'm guessing the fact that I'm a mezzo really helps, since he was very insistent about wanting to hear me sing, even though it's already full. That's all well and good, except I fear if it doesn't get on my calendar in the next few weeks, there won't be any way to make it work. And on top of that, it all hinges on me not sucking it up Wednesday. I feel fairly confident though... I think...
The weather man just said something about not having variety in our weather... What's he smoking!?!
Anyway, as I've been resurrecting music for said audition, I've found that it all fits in my voice a little differently, especially the older stuff. Of the two I've selected, one if from a couple years ago, and it just feels enormous now. I can remember really having to work on the high notes (Gs), and now it just comes out... and about peels the paint off the walls... that's a good feeling. The second piece I just did last year, so it's not so much of a change, but there is still some. Once I got through the first, really "pitchy" (to steal a word from Simon) sing-thru, it worked fairly well.
The only really rough part of them is that lovely transition to my "man-voice," as my voice teacher has so technically named it (I like to call it chest voice, but I'm not sure it's not below chest voice... my breaks are very odd (Well, who are we kidding, I can't FIND my breaks, except for that one)). When that comes around, I still sound like a boy just hitting puberty... and trust me, I'm not a boy, and I'm way past puberty... so it's weird, and annoying. Afore mentioned voice teacher tells me that this is all due to lift, but I can lift that palet til it erupts through my skull and it still cracks... (This is all also relevant to Dorabella, since she occasionally uses man-voice too).
Anyway, I'll get back to Dorabella on Thursday, and technically also Tuesday night, since I'm working on the finale with Loria. I'm taking some girlfriends to Tulsa with me and we're going to make an evening of it. I want to see the Gondoliers, but we'll see if they'll agree.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Praise Jesus...
that this opera isn't in French. Ugh... I need a French diction tutor or something.
My goal this summer was to finish the research part of this project. While that's well under-way, I'm finding that the creative part is coming farther and faster than I intended it to (not that I'm complaining). I think perhaps this is because it's just the place I was at in my development as a performer anyway. I felt last semester than the expression really started coming, especially with the musical theatre things, and now it feels like it's right there. Of course, I've not actually performed anywhere for the last few weeks, so I haven't really tested my theory, but I feel like there is a lot more character in my singing, even as I'm learning the music. (This may not make a lot of sense, but hear me out.)
In the past, when I've really worked on music, I've been totally focused on technique and just sounding good. In this latest set of things I'm working on, I'm finding that my brain is now capable of focusing on technique AND characterization. Now I'm seeing scenes unfold in my head and what I would be doing expressively as I practice the music. Along with this, I feel like I've gotten comfortable enough with myself that I'm going to be fairly unhindered in actually expressing what I'm singing about in performance. I've always felt like expression is very tedious and laborious, but now I think I'm finding that it's going to be natural.
Basically, I'm finding that it gets easier with experience, as most things do. I think that once expression is natural and I stop thinking about it, performing is going to be less frustrating and even more fun. We'll see...
As far as Dorabella goes: I'm working with several other area singers on an ensemble for a concert in August, and we're doing one of the finales from Cosi. We were all challenged at our rehearsal last Thursday to find a single object that represents our character and bring it to this week's rehearsal. I've yet to decide for sure on an object, but I've come up with several characteristics that I think describe Dorabella. Now I need an object that fits them. From what I've gathered about her character so far, I'm finding it difficult to describe Dorabella without including her sister in some way. They are together almost the entire opera, and it is hard to separate them in some ways. Basically though, it seems that together they are quite strong, but when separated, Dorabella quickly becomes gullible (as if she wasn't already, believing everything they're told). But really, the sisters have stood true to their men (other than agreeing that a little flirting can't hurt anything) through suicide attempts and an array of other tactics, but the moment the guy gets her alone, she crumbles and gives away her heart. So, on her own, I think she's gullible and of course overly-dramatic, which is natural considering she's a 15-year-old girl. (I'm going to have fun dredging up those memories :s). Perhaps if Dorabella was a modern teenage girl, they would treat her for bi-polar or panic disorder. She can go from deliriously happy to suicidal in the space of a few bars.
I keep coming back to my 14-year-old niece. She's the epitome of an overly-dramatic teenage girl (although thankfully far more sensible than Dorabella). I've found myself watching her lately for her reactions and expressions, and it's really priceless. She's the most hilarious person, and I think she shares many characteristics with Dorabella. Though she wouldn't fall for all the scheming (as no real person would), I can definitely see her having similar reactions to similar circumstances.
Oh, another point I meant to make: digging into the history of the opera can also give you important insights into a character. In looking into the performance history, I was very interested to find out that the original Fiordiligi and Dorabella were actually sisters in real life. Knowing that Mozart would have known who he was composing for, this adds a new dynamic to the interaction of the two characters. The roles were created for them, as sisters, which means that the dynamic between them is crucial. They could have just been friends, but I firmly believe that Mozart didn't do anything without a reason.
All this being said, I still don't know what object I'm going to take to rehearsal, but I think it needs to be something that really just says "TEENAGE GIRL," since almost all of her characteristics, from her flightiness to her dramatics, can be attributed in some degree to her age.
My goal this summer was to finish the research part of this project. While that's well under-way, I'm finding that the creative part is coming farther and faster than I intended it to (not that I'm complaining). I think perhaps this is because it's just the place I was at in my development as a performer anyway. I felt last semester than the expression really started coming, especially with the musical theatre things, and now it feels like it's right there. Of course, I've not actually performed anywhere for the last few weeks, so I haven't really tested my theory, but I feel like there is a lot more character in my singing, even as I'm learning the music. (This may not make a lot of sense, but hear me out.)
In the past, when I've really worked on music, I've been totally focused on technique and just sounding good. In this latest set of things I'm working on, I'm finding that my brain is now capable of focusing on technique AND characterization. Now I'm seeing scenes unfold in my head and what I would be doing expressively as I practice the music. Along with this, I feel like I've gotten comfortable enough with myself that I'm going to be fairly unhindered in actually expressing what I'm singing about in performance. I've always felt like expression is very tedious and laborious, but now I think I'm finding that it's going to be natural.
Basically, I'm finding that it gets easier with experience, as most things do. I think that once expression is natural and I stop thinking about it, performing is going to be less frustrating and even more fun. We'll see...
As far as Dorabella goes: I'm working with several other area singers on an ensemble for a concert in August, and we're doing one of the finales from Cosi. We were all challenged at our rehearsal last Thursday to find a single object that represents our character and bring it to this week's rehearsal. I've yet to decide for sure on an object, but I've come up with several characteristics that I think describe Dorabella. Now I need an object that fits them. From what I've gathered about her character so far, I'm finding it difficult to describe Dorabella without including her sister in some way. They are together almost the entire opera, and it is hard to separate them in some ways. Basically though, it seems that together they are quite strong, but when separated, Dorabella quickly becomes gullible (as if she wasn't already, believing everything they're told). But really, the sisters have stood true to their men (other than agreeing that a little flirting can't hurt anything) through suicide attempts and an array of other tactics, but the moment the guy gets her alone, she crumbles and gives away her heart. So, on her own, I think she's gullible and of course overly-dramatic, which is natural considering she's a 15-year-old girl. (I'm going to have fun dredging up those memories :s). Perhaps if Dorabella was a modern teenage girl, they would treat her for bi-polar or panic disorder. She can go from deliriously happy to suicidal in the space of a few bars.
I keep coming back to my 14-year-old niece. She's the epitome of an overly-dramatic teenage girl (although thankfully far more sensible than Dorabella). I've found myself watching her lately for her reactions and expressions, and it's really priceless. She's the most hilarious person, and I think she shares many characteristics with Dorabella. Though she wouldn't fall for all the scheming (as no real person would), I can definitely see her having similar reactions to similar circumstances.
Oh, another point I meant to make: digging into the history of the opera can also give you important insights into a character. In looking into the performance history, I was very interested to find out that the original Fiordiligi and Dorabella were actually sisters in real life. Knowing that Mozart would have known who he was composing for, this adds a new dynamic to the interaction of the two characters. The roles were created for them, as sisters, which means that the dynamic between them is crucial. They could have just been friends, but I firmly believe that Mozart didn't do anything without a reason.
All this being said, I still don't know what object I'm going to take to rehearsal, but I think it needs to be something that really just says "TEENAGE GIRL," since almost all of her characteristics, from her flightiness to her dramatics, can be attributed in some degree to her age.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
A work in progress
I think I've reached the point on this project where I begin to procrastinate. It's the point where I have all the information I need (for the first part), and all that remains is to extract and collate. Unfortunately, this is where I usually being to drag, and so far, my MO hasn't changed with this project, despite my enthusiasm for it. That's not to say I'm doing nothing. I'm working on the music itself most days... even when the janitors are standing outside my practice room sloshing water around in the mop bucket-- I'm not dense, I just choose not to take hints.
Anyway, I've found performance history, opera history, Mozart history, etc. The only hang-up at the moment is finding info. on stylistic subtleties of the Classical period. So far none of my books/websites have gone into any detail about it. But, I can't say I've looked THAT hard yet. So, as soon as I find info. on things like those pesky little Mozartian fermatas, or what ornamentation is okay for say, the twentieth time I sing the same passage, I'll be all set.
My biggest question at the moment is why on earth a guy who's only written two other books, The Freudian Left, and The Modernization of Sex, has also written a book called Opera & Ideas: From Mozart to Strauss. It would seem to me he's a little out of his element, but maybe there's a side to this opera that I've yet to unearth...:S
Anyway, I've found performance history, opera history, Mozart history, etc. The only hang-up at the moment is finding info. on stylistic subtleties of the Classical period. So far none of my books/websites have gone into any detail about it. But, I can't say I've looked THAT hard yet. So, as soon as I find info. on things like those pesky little Mozartian fermatas, or what ornamentation is okay for say, the twentieth time I sing the same passage, I'll be all set.
My biggest question at the moment is why on earth a guy who's only written two other books, The Freudian Left, and The Modernization of Sex, has also written a book called Opera & Ideas: From Mozart to Strauss. It would seem to me he's a little out of his element, but maybe there's a side to this opera that I've yet to unearth...:S
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