Go and tell your white knight that he's handsome in hindsight, but I don't want the next best thing

People have called me an over-achiever.

But I don't know what that's about.

The audition Wednesday actually went really well... and by that, I mean I think I kicked butt. Problem is, there really wasn't any butt to kick. In the end, I was left with a "You're really talented, but I think I've filled everything, and we try to hire locally so we don't have to pay mileage. BUT, I really would like to have you, so I'm going to try to find something for you." So, I'm not sure if I should be at all reassured by any of that. It's like a yes and a no all wrapped into one. I'll expect to hear from them when I hear from them, but not until then.

Dorabella's been on hold this week. However, while in Tulsa, we went to see The Gondoliers, and I think there were several Dorabella-like characters in it-- and by that I mean they were young and ditsy. Of course, there was also a guy who looked and acted EXACTLY like Nick Gilmore, only shorter (and didn't sing as well). I almost felt like I was watching Forum again. Anyway, I watched all of the young ditsy girls very carefully. What I noticed most was their facial expression and commitment to everything they did. (I might also have learned some about gushing... and Dorabella certainly does plenty of gushing). I think I often don't commit to what I do on stage, because I'm not sure if it's right, because it doesn't feel natural to me. I also dreadfully underestimate my facial expressions and actions. I'm not really sure how to remedy this, other than just experiment with it and do lots of mirror time. I probably really need to screw it up and get feedback, but I SO hate not doing things right the first time. I'm supposed to be working with an actress in Springfield in the next few weeks, so I'm hoping she'll be able to help me out with all of this.

I'm not doing much journaling about the vocal part of this, but I'm not really sure what to write. It's lots of "brighter.... BRIGHTER!"s and "More teeth"s (which has actually been very helpful... never thought about teeth before). I still have a lot to learn about the specifics. For example, there are lots of little ornamentation things that I see written or hear other people do, but I'm not sure what's appropriate, and what would make Mozart kill a kitten (and I like kittens). In general though, most of the voice work has been done in the last 3 years. I've developed lots of good habits (I like to think, anyway), so it's more about polish this time. Which is terribly frustrating, let me tell you. I think it was almost less frustrating when I was working out the really big issues, because now I often can't tell the difference between what I'm doing and what he wants me to do. Usually it comes with time, but in the meantime, I feel like I should switch majors or something. On a positive note, I think my voice has grown quite a bit over the past few weeks. There have been quite a few "paint-peeling" moments, as I like to call them. Of course, that's not hard to do in an 8x8 cell, aka a practice room... but, I've also noticed it in other places, so I think it's real.

Though I'm going to have high-speed internet and cable, and a big fancy Y to work out in for the next few days, I plan to spend lots of time practicing and doing research. Right now, however, I think I need some ice cream and a rerun of House, because what could be better than that?