I should have agreed to do this in english...

I've been working extra hard on the music for my project for the last week or so. I actually have the majority of it down pretty well, but the recits are killing me. It's very hard to memorize various cadential phrases with no point of reference. It's kind of like learning those Half Minute Songs I did last semester, only in Italian... and like 20 times as much music. I'm going to have to sit down with the score and recording, I think, and spend hours and hours. Maybe then it'll make more sense. My voice teacher told me to translate them all by hand, which was a great idea... except that when I went to do it, 60% of the words weren't in my dictionary. So, I don't know. I would learn it in English and then Italian, but I know myself well enough to know I'd never go back and learn the Italian.

On the positive, and almost completely unrelated, side, I started lessons with my newest student today, and she has a LOT of potential. Only in 8th grade, and already a big, mature sound. And the best part: when I tell her how to fix something, she does it. She made big strides in 30 minutes.

I thought I had a good break-through in my lesson last Friday, but so far I haven't been able to recreate it. At one point, my voice teacher even said "wow, you just looked like as singer!", to which I should have replied "What did I look like before, a trained monkey?" But, I restrained myself. Apparently I wasn't doing whatever it was I used to do on my high notes, and they were working really well and were nice and big. Hopefully we can get it to work again in my next lesson. It had a lot to do with using my abs to support the air well, which I guess I don't generally do. I've been working on that, so maybe if I get one part of it down at a time, it'll all start working soon.

I've been thinking about what it would be like to actually be getting ready to go somewhere and perform this opera with other singers... It's really kind of a scary thought. While I don't doubt that I could do it, the process of working with a director and other singers is something I'm not at all used to, really. Also, it's really scary to think of going into it being the only rookie, so to speak. I need to find a grad school with LOTS of performance opportunities.

Speaking of grad schools: I spent an evening last week trying to find deadlines for applications, audition dates, etc. for graduate schools, and it was terrifying. I don't know how anyone ever gets all of the steps done, and then on top of that, passes all the tests and does well enough in the audition to prove they're worth anything. And on top of that, it costs $150-$200 in application fees for each school. Plus the money I'll spend going there and auditioning and such. So, I have to really narrow it down. It's a really overwhelming ordeal.

This is going to be the semester of paperwork. Grad school apps, graduation paperwork, thesis paperwork... I'm not excited about this. But, I hope it's also the semester that I learn a lot about expression and take my singing to the next level. Right now, I feel like a decent singer, but a horrible performer. My goal is to be decent at both aspects by Dec. And if not by Dec., by Feb. or March.

I still need to find some music for my senior recital. I have it all planned out, but I need a German set and a musical theatre set. I have some ideas about the German, but I'm stuck on the theatre. Of course, what I have planned so far is probably a little unconventional, but it's unconventional in the more difficulty direction, rather than less, so I don't see why it shouldn't be acceptable. As soon as I finish the thesis work, I have to get to work on the recital music.

I have four pages of my thesis written so far. I doesn't sound like much, but I think it's about as much history as I'm going to include. I intended to make it around 10 pages, but now that I've written it, I feel like going any more in-depth would be unnecessary and distracting. But, we'll see what Dr. Smith says. Admittedly, there are some parts I need to do some more work on, some ideas I haven't fully developed, but even at that, I think it will only be 5 or 6 pages.

There is still some more research I need to do. I still haven't managed to unearth something that helps me figure out the stylistic conventions of the time period. I've found things written about trills, appogiaturas, etc, but nothing that tells me anything specific. Perhaps this means that at that time, it was conventional to follow only what the composer wrote? But this can't really be, because there were a LOT of things Mozart didn't write. Which should mean that some things became conventional. But someone is sure trying to keep me from figuring out what they were. Also, I don't know what on my score is Mozart's, and what's the publisher's...

I think it's about time I have a long talk with Janice Fulbright. But that in itself is kind of terrifying. She may be a walking music encyclopedia, but she intimidates the #$#% out of me. But, if anyone is going to know these things, it would be her. She might have a score in which she took notes from Mozart....;)

From an expression standpoint, I think this opera was a good choice. I should have a chance to work on the whole spectrum of emotions, as Dorabella has moments of ecstasy, and some of agony. This post is getting very random, I know, but it's a pretty accurate reflection of how my brain is working at the moment. Hopefully getting back to school will force me to focus.